how I want to spend my time
A while back (April 12, 2021!!) I was frustrated with myself and how I was spending my time, so I wrote down this set of questions:
How do I determine what is worth my time?
What is worth my time?
What is not worth my time?
What is my time budget?
How will these changes be accomplished?
Last night, June 20, 2022, I finally sat down and answered them. The gap between writing the questions and answering them should speak volumes about where my head has been these past 14 months. After answering these questions I can also say that the difference between how I've been spending my time and what made my 'worth my time list' is equally as vast as that 14 month gap...I've got a lot of work to do.
While I won't be sharing my answers to those questions publicly I do want to share what going through this process was like.
filter criteria
Determining the filter criteria for 'what is worth my time' was essential before attempting to answer the rest of the questions. I liken it to finding the right granularity of your coffee beans: too coarse and all the water rushes through and captures none of the flavor; to fine, and the little water that does make it through is incredibly bitter. You've got to find the right level of granularity in order to get the best results. It's only been one day, so the jury is still out on whether I've nailed it with my answer to this question but as far as first passes go, I think I'm in a good spot.
the two categories
Once I had my criteria set, it was rather easy to answer the next two questions: 'what is worth my time?' and 'what is not worth my time?'. I looked at the things in my life that I was already spending my time on, passed them through the filtering criteria, and then placed them in the correct category. Then I looked at the things I wasn't doing with my time but wanted to do and followed the same process. By the end of this 10-15 minute exercise I had two well populated lists and this was the moment where I realized just how much time I had spent in the recent past doing things that were not worth my time and that moment lingered for awhile.
I had that 'time isn't renewable, you only get one shot at life' conversation with myself, that I've had multiple times before and I realized that no one else is going to prioritize my time for me. If I truly want to spend time doing the things that I deem worthy of my time then I'm the one who has to change, I'm the one who has to make the hard decisions to do what's best with my time and not settle for what feels good in the moment. And one day in, so far so good. Today has been wonderful but talk to me on day seven when I know decision fatigue will be high and I'll just want to lay on the couch and watch a show or movie that's on the 'not worth my time' list.
the budget
This part, for now, is binary: if it's on the 'worth my time list' it gets time, if it's on the 'not worth my time list' it doesn't get time. Now as clean and simple as that sounds some of the things on the 'not worth my time list' are certain types of thoughts and motivations, so it's impossible to go cold turkey there. OId habits, as they say, die hard. So I'm going to show myself some grace when I give time to things I don't want to give time to and learn from it. What triggered the failure? Did I have a way out and choose not to take it? What were the results of wasting that time?
Initially when I wrote this question, I think I was looking for more of a granular budget that included an hourly breakdown of how much time I was going to spend reading, or writing, or praying, and so on but now I'm not sure that's necessary. All of the things on my 'worth my time' list are good things and they don't need to be trapped by a rigid hours allocation. If I don't read one day because I wind up spending extra time with my daughter, that's ok. I still spent time with my daughter and that's definitely worth my time.
I think I will do my best to track my time, using the wonderful app Timery, just as an exercise in keeping myself accountable. If I'm spending time doing things on the 'worth my time' list, then the time tracking should reflect that. If I get to the end of a week and see that I've only tracked 10 hours of stuff, then either I forgot to track a whole lot of the good stuff or I had a bad week. It's this sort of review that can help me ditch my old habits as I learn new ones but also not beat myself up if I do have a bad day or two. Not all progress is linear, grace has got to be a part of the growing process.
success system
But that's not the only tool in my toolbox when it comes to a successful transition of how I'm spending my time. Earlier I said I wasn't going to share any of my answers to these questions but I think I can make an exception to this portion as it's entirely practical and therefore could be helpful to other people. So my answers to the question 'How will these changes be accomplished?'' are as follows:
a serious amount of encouragement from and dependence upon the Holy Spirit
prayer
commitment to reading the Bible
getting back up after I fail
the determination to say no to what feels good and say yes to that which is actually good
accountable friendships
self-care
some well needed maturity to do the hard things instead of falling back into the comfort of coasting through life
don't be the servant that just buried the master's money, be the servant who earned 10x what he was given by using your intelligence and talent
show up and engage
don't be afraid to give your best effort
don't be a perfectionist
coasting is now forbidden
next steps
As I stated earlier I'm just at the beginning of this new journey, so there are a lot of unknowns that remain. Even today I was adding things to the two lists as I thought through more parts of my life and I'm sure I'll continue to add things in the coming days. What is important though is that I've taken the first few steps and started moving forward and that feels good. I know the coming days and weeks will be hard, most change is, but I have great hope for what my new normal could be in a few months after sticking to this plan.
Would it be worth your time to work through these questions and create your own lists?
How do I determine what is worth my time?
What is worth my time?
What is not worth my time?
What is my time budget?
How will these changes be accomplished?